War
by KingOfTheRock
Summary: Fairies always tried to stay hidden from human eyes. But what happens when an FBI agent discovers Grub Kelp? AU the Opal Deception never happaned and so did the mindwipes on TEC
1. Chapter 1

It was a calm afternoon in Haven city. In the Kelp house, the two brothers, whose mom died not so long ago, were sitting in their living room. Trouble Kelp, Deputy Commander of the LEP was reading his regular newspaper, and Grub, who was still a Corporal, was watching his favorite soap-opera.

When the soap was over Grub turned the TV off and went towards the door.

"Where are you going?" said Trouble over his newspaper.

"I need to make the ritual."

"Where?"

"Somewhere in America."

"Still afraid of Ireland?"

"Yeah. If someone like Artemis will kidnap me like he did with Holly, there's no way I'll make it. In America it's completely safe."

"Well… knock yourself out."

"Thanks." Grub took his wings and went out the door. He never liked the ritual. It was way too scary for his unadventurous mind.

Max Benson, agent of the FBI, was working on "The Operation" for quite a while. It all began when he saw that diary, of someone he thought was at least seventeen years old. Most of the diary was about fairies and what the boy was about to do to catch one and get their gold.

Max did not want gold. The salary he made was more than enough for him. He just wanted to catch a fairy so he can prove the world that they exist. Just for fun, and glory.

Of course, his budget was not too big. He could not afford that boy's equipment and he could not ask for funding from Robin Richards, head of the FBI. Somehow, Max thought it was just stupid to ask him, "Hey, Mr. Richards. Can you give me a nice big budget so I can catch fairies?"

So he did it on his own. He found a place where there's an ancient oak, and a curve of the stream. It was a full moon. Just the right time and place.

He took his van to the old Dosone River, took his gun and waited. He didn't want to kill the poor fairy, of course, but a bullet in its leg won't do too much harm.

He listened to some music, looked at the stars, tried to name states. Anything to keep himself awake. It was quite late, about three AM, when he saw it coming.

The fairy suddenly appeared, almost out of nowhere. Max didn't believe it was actually happening to him. It really paid off! Fairies DO exist!

He aimed his gun and shot.

There was silence for a moment, and then a scream.

"D'Arvit! Ahh!"

The fairy fell down, holding its leg. Max ran.

"Hi."

The fairy looked at him with wide eyes.

"What's D'Arvit?" Max asked, trying not to look threatening.

The fairy didn't say anything, but looked as in excruciating pain. Quite understandable when you have a bullet in your leg.

"Can you walk? I guess not…" Max said and laughed sarcastically. He lifted the fairy himself to the van, and drove away.


	2. Chapter 2

"Are you going to talk to me, fairy? Or D'Arvit is the only thing you can say? Just tell me your name."

"Grub…"

"What was that?"

Grub held his leg. He didn't have enough magic to cure it. And fairies do not react well to human bullets. He took a deep breath and said, trying to sound fearless, "Corporal… Grub… Kelp."

Max smiled. "I'm Agent Max Benson. Pleasure to meet you."

Grub pressed his womb, trying to ease the pain. "Agent… where?"

"FBI."

Grub lost his conscious. Being caught by a human who was also an FBI agent, mixed with the horrible pain in his leg, maid it quite hard for him to stay conscious.

Max looked at him. Then at the rode. He took his cell and called Robin Richards.

"Mm… who is that?" asked Robin in a sleepy voice.

"Agent Max Benson, sir."

"Benson? Why the hell are you calling me at this time?"

"Well, sir, I just caught a fairy."

"What!"

"I caught a real fairy, sir. I'm going to the headquarters right now."

"Good thinking… A fairy, you say? Hmm… When will you be there?"

"In about two hours."

"Excellent. I'll meet you there, agent, and I want you to know… you're going to change the world right now."

"Thank you, sir."

When Max arrived to the headquarters he saw Robin waiting for him, looking awfully excited.

"Where is she?" he asked.

"What 'she'?" asked Max.

"The fairy, agent, the fairy!"

"Oh. It's a 'he'. Right there in the back…"

Robin opened the back of the van and looked amazed. "Take him to the investigation room."

"Actually, sir, I think we should give him some medical treatment. He's not very well."

"Fine. Give him a nice little room and call a medic."

Once the finest medic in Washington, Abe Turner, arrived he too was in complete shock. He examined Grub for almost five minutes, and could probably go to six if Max wouldn't stop him.

Eventually Abe lowered Grub's fever and even managed to take the bullet out.

"Why'd you have to shoot him anyway?" Abe asked.

"Do you think he will come with me willingly?"

"Good point." Said Abe. "Well, I'd better go. I can't do anything else for him."

Abe left, and Max watched Grub. After about half an hour he woke up. His eyes were fixed on the ceiling and he looked rather confused. His hand was holding his leg, and then he seemed to understand what happened. He slowly turned his head and looked at Max. "D'Arvit."

"There's that word again… How do you feel now, Corporal?"

"Like hell."

"I can understand you."

"Wonderful." Grub was shaking on the inside.

"Would you care to talk to me today?"

"Whattaya mean?"

"I ask you questions, you answer. What do you say?"

A wonderful, helpful, and actually first of its kind rose up in Grub's brain.

"I'll do it on one condition."

"What?"

"You'll let me complete my ritual."

"The one where you renew your powers?"

"Yes. I need it. I need to heal myself. You know, fairies don't react very well to bullets and with no magical assistance it can end very badly…"

"I see. But you know, we already took care of you. The bullet was removed…"

"It doesn't matter. You see, the affect of metal on the fairy's body is dreadful… it can cause severe damage and may even cause death. With no healing I may die! And then you won't know anything about fairies."

"Fine. You can complete your stupid ritual… but don't you need an acorn for that?"

Grub showed him the preserved acorn, invented by Holly. You won't find a fairy without it these days.

"Alright. But Mr. Richards and I will watch you."

"OK. Who's Richards?"

"Head of the FBI."

Grub's stomach flipped. "Fine. Just let me go outside."

"Can you walk?" Max asked sarcastically.

"Yes, I can!" Grub said angrily. And he did manage to walk when every step he maid on his right leg caused him awful pain. He was sure he's about to fall down, but a voice in his head, one that really sounded like Trouble's, told him to go on and not to show this human you're in pain or you're afraid.

Eventually he arrived to the green lawn in the front of the building. It was still very early in the morning and the street was empty. Robin Richards stood there, looking at Grub and seemed very pleased with himself.

"What are you going to do?" asked Max.

"Nothing," said Grub and reached to his preserved acorn. He sat on the lawn and tried to look like he doesn't mind that two human's are watching him. He put the acorn on the lawn and said as quite as he could, "I'm returning you to earth."

He immediately felt the magic running through his body. The blue sparks automatically went to his leg and cured the womb in a couple of seconds. There was a nasty scar, but it didn't hurt. Grub sat there and didn't say anything.

"Amazing! Amazing, Agent Benson!" said Robin excitedly.

"Well, thank you, sir." Said Max. Grub fisted his hands.

"Corporal, ready to answer some questions?" he asked.

"Well… yes." Grub said. His idea wasn't so perfect now. Actually, it looked stupid and Grub thought there's no way it's going to work. But it was worth a shot.


	3. Chapter 3

Max sat in his chair in the investigation room, Grub sat in front of him and looked at the big mirror on the wall. First of all, he looked very bad, and second of all, it was clearly a two sided mirror and Robin Richards was in its other side.

"Corporal Kelp, am I right?" Max said and looked content.

"Yes." Said Grub. Now it was the right time to use it. The mesmerizer. "Agent… Who's on the other side of the mirror?"

Max couldn't resist. "Robin Richards, Raymond O'Donell and Daniel Malone."

"What are their jobs?"

"O'Donell is head of the police… Malone's president of the US… Richards is head of the FBI…"

Behind the mirror, the three executives were in shock.

"He knows what a two-sided mirror is!"

"Why is Benson telling him this, anyway? The fairy should answer the questions!"

It was Grub's time to make his move.

"Give me your gun, Agent."

Max gave Grub his gun without a single word.

"Now don't move or don't say anything unless I'll tell you to."

The three executives were in shock. They already figured Max was hypnotized.

Grub walked slowly behind Max. Max was sitting, so Grub was tall enough to reach his head. He pointed his gun to Max's head and talked to the mirror.

"Listen, I want you here in this room and we'll have some negotiation or the Agent gets it!" He tried to act like a bank robber he once saw in a movie. He felt quite stupid.

"Gentlemen… What do you think we should do?" asked Malone.

"Negotiate with him. We don't have any choice. We can't take the chance." Said Raymond. They entered the room where Grub was.

"OK… I want my wings back."

"Your what?"

"Wings! One of you, go check if they're in his van."

"How does it even look like?"

"It looks like big wings! How do you think it should look!"

Malone went, leaving the two professionals to deal with the situation.

"Well…" said Grub, "I'll just wait here until he comes back…"

"Don't do anything irrational," said O'Donnell. "You don't want to kill a man."

"How would you know?" said Grub. He actually started to enjoy it.

"We're open for negotiation." Said Richards, "Just say what you want."

"I want you to leave the fairies alone, give me my wings and let me go. No negotiation- either I get what I wanted or he gets it."

President Malone came into the room, breathing fast and holding Grub's wing set.

"Throw it to me." Said Grub. Malone threw it, and Grub strapped them on, still holding the gun. He thought he should prevent cases like these for the future. The fact that he made to go through it in one peace doesn't mean that idiot Benson won't do it again. He can mind-wipe Benson, just until the professional LEP mind-wipers will do it.

He pulled Benson's head back, looked into his eyes, and prepared to say, "You won't remember anything of what happened. You know nothing about fairies", And fly away, but there was something that stopped him.

Because of the fact that he was concentrated with Benson and the mesmerizer, he couldn't concentrate on Malone, Richards and O'Donnell. He could only say, "You won't remember anything – ", until Richards and O'Donnell both drew their handguns and shot him.

Grub didn't complete his sentence, as he lay on the floor, dead.

Richards ran towards Benson, shook him a little and asked, "Agent Benson, are you alright?"

The comment he got was, "Who's Agent Benson?"

Richards looked at Malone and O'Donnell. "His memory is gone…"

"It doesn't matter," said Malone, "I want you to film the fairy… we'll have a press conference, and we'll let the world know. It's our duty to tell them. Where do you think the fairies live?"

"I don't know," said O'Donnell, "Good question. But wherever they live, it's probably a good solution to the world's over-population."

"I love your thinking, O'Donnell. I'll go back to the White House and write a little speech… you take care of the photos, and then…"


	4. Chapter 4

Foaly watched CNN, as he did every day. He thought it was important for him to know what's new in the human's territory. It was usually things like, "A new and dangerous epidemic spreads in India" or "dozens of storks died because of water pollution". Things the fairies could prevent with a little technology.

As the narrator on CNN started to say, "The president of the USA, Daniel Malone, arranged a press conference, to give, as he said, a message that will change the course of history."

'Nice', thought Foaly, 'Maybe they finally made world peace.'

"So we'll go to the press conference, live." Said the narrator, and there was Malone, standing on his podium, looking very excited. He opened his mouth and the reporters stopped talking immediately.

"Citizens," he said, "I would like to inform you… that the FBI had discovered the existence of fairies. Thanks to agent Maxwell Steven Benson, we managed to capture a real fairy… the fairy introduced itself as 'Corporal Grub Kelp', and refused to give us any information about its People, but we are sure that there are others."

The whole room was filled with the buzz of talking, and Foaly stood there for a couple of seconds, in total and complete awe. Malone started talking again.

"Unfortunately, Kelp was hostile and took Agent Benson hostage, so our forces had to neutralize him."

One of the reporters asked, "What do you mean by 'neutralize'?"

"We had to kill him," Malone said, "And we do have a couple of pictures, of Kelp's body."

The screen behind him showed Grub, staring upwards with an empty look.

The reporters started asking the president questions, and Foaly turned the TV off. He ran to Root's office as fast as he could. Trouble and Holly were in his office at the same time, and Trouble was just saying, "He's gone for too long and I think…"

Root looked at Foaly sarcastically. "What?"

"They pinged us..."

"What!" said Holly. "How?"

"Some Benson guy… he abducted Grub somehow… they just said it on the news… I don't know how they did it but he was killed, and his pictures will probably appear on every single newspaper around the world."

"They killed Grub?" said Trouble. After a couple of seconds he said, "They pinged us…"

"What do you think we should do?" asked Holly.

"Well," said Root, "I think we can't fix it. We can't reverse time. Let's face it, the whole world knows about us. So we'll have to make friends with them… maybe join the UN."

"With the Mudmen!" said Trouble, "Are you crazy?"

"It's not such a bad idea. Maybe we can help them fix the planet and maybe move aboveground again." Said Holly.

"Or maybe they can sell us to slavery, or to a circus, or worse!" said Trouble, "Humans don't get along with creatures that are different than they are. Not to say better."

"It's our only choice. If you can't beat them, join them. And we can't beat them." Said Foaly.

"Who says we have to fight them? We can just stay belowground."

"You know it won't work," Foaly said, "We'll have to go aboveground someday. And then it will probably get even worse."

"Fine… but how do you expect us to do that?"

"Maybe Artemis Fowl could help us."


	5. Chapter 5

Artemis Fowl is now seventeen years old. He retired from the criminal world, and started focusing on psychology. He goes to a regular public school and trying to be a regular teenager. As far as he can go.

As for Butler, he died two years ago, from a heart attack. He was not what he used to be. The only thing that helped Artemis deal with Butler's death was Seamus.

Seamus is not a boy, as you probably think. She's a teenage girl, in Artemis's age. She's not half as smart as Artemis, but you can't say she's stupid. She has brown hair and brown eyes, and she looks quite normal. Too normal for Artemis, but you can't judge a book by its cover. She's the kind of person you just like to hang out with, an unusual personality. And that's why she's Artemis's girlfriend.

She and Artemis were together when they found out about the discovery of fairies. Artemis didn't tell her, but he knew that it was only a matter of time until Holly will contact him.

"Would you believe that? Actual fairies!" she said.

"Of course. Nothing I didn't already know…" he said with a smile.

""What do you mean?"

"I always believed in fairies, you see. You may say I was completely sure of their existence. But now when they're discovered… complete disaster."

"Why? Little Grubby is so cute, even though he's dead. What can happen…?"

"I think there will be a war."

"Why should we fight them?"

"You see, they live belowground. And they are not the fairies you think they are. They have trolls, and elves, and centaurs, and a very advanced technology. A lot better than ours."

"So what? And how do you know that? They didn't say it on the news!"

"Well… I can't tell you that. I'll see you tomorrow."

"I bet you're hiding from me a whole bunch of things, do you?"

"Yes. And maybe I'll tell you someday."

"It's just you're luck I'm not a big fan of the truth!"

"That's right. Bye."

"Bye," she said and walked him to the door.

When he arrived to his house he saw Holly sitting on his roof.

"Hello, Holly. Long time no see."

"Hi, Artemis. Did you hear about – "

"Yes, what do you need?"

"Well, it's really complicated. We need you to be our ambassador."

"What do you mean?"

"We need to talk to the humans, but Root doesn't think we should show ourselves to the entire world. He's going to give a little speech in the UN, but he doesn't think he should come to talk-shows or to news panels around the world or something. But you should. The world needs to know that we're not evil or some kind of a threat. And you can help us with that."

"No one thinks you're evil. They all think you're cute tiny people. They think you're too GOOD, and this is what you should work on. I think they might even try and fight you."

"Yeah. We're afraid of that. That's why we try to improve our image. Not too good and not too bad. Just like we really are."

"And what's in it for me?"

"I guess you'll get some gold… and maybe shelter; if there will be a war."

"What if the humans win?"

"You're human. They won't hurt you."

"I'll do it for one ton of gold."

"Half a ton."

"I accept. When do I start?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Before I start the chapter, a little disclaimer here:**

**Malone is NOT based on President Bush, Clinton or any other leader you can think of. **

**I don't own any of the Artemis Fowl characters, accept for Seamus who original, but she doesn't count.**

**Now we'll start… the first part of the chapter is worst than the first. You can skip it, if you want. Sorry for the long chapter, but I had no choice.**

Root was preparing himself for his big speech. He knows he has to do it, though it seemed very unnecessary. Foaly worked very hard on giving him the chance to speak in front of the entire UN. According to his request, the speech will not be filmed. It was just Root and a bunch of people who believe in world peace.

He stepped to the podium. Nobody noticed him because of his height, and of course he couldn't reach the microphones. It seemed ridiculous to stand on a pile of phonebooks, so he strapped his wings and flew over the microphones.

The representatives were silent immediately.

"Hello," he started, "I am Julius Root, commander of the fairy LEP.

Let me tell you about our People. We believe in peace, and in the sake of the environment. Our technology is highly progressive, we live belowground, and we live well.

There's no poverty or war among the fairies. There's no racial discrimination, though we have many kinds of fairies. No over-population or deadly viruses.

We managed to find the way to live a better life.

We gave up on many advantages by living belowground. We love the environment; love the forests, the oceans, the animals. But we see them rarely. We have our own small living space, as our population is not so big.

All I ask you is to let us continue living our lives in peace. We won't bother you, we won't try to concur your land or get your money. Just let us live properly, as if you know nothing about us."

He finished, finally. He hated to speak in front of audience and especially in front of humans, who looked like they want to kill him. Lucky for him, he had about ten body guards standing shielded beside him.

He looked at the audience, and they all had their hands up like they want to ask questions. He sight and looked at one of the ambassadors.

"I don't understand. If you have all the cures, why don't you give them to us?"

"Because, first of all, you saw what happens when the fairy world and the human world collide- world panic. Second of all, we believe that everything comes in its right time. Third of all, you need to learn from your mistakes."

Now all the hands were down.

"Well, I hoped I convinced you about the true intentions of the People. Thank you for your time and goodbye."

One day later, Malone heard about Root's speech. The UN representative told him all about it. The fact that the fairies just let the humans to 'deal with their problems' made him quite angry.

He started considering future options.

One option was that the humans will give Root what he wanted- completely forget about the fairy folk. Highly unlikely.

The second option was treating fairies as a nation… export thing to… Fairyland, or wherever they live. Maybe.

The third option was to treat it as if they discovered a new continent: people will immigrate there, fairies will immigrate here, get jobs, buy houses. Possible.

The fourth option was to start a war. It was quite difficult considering the fact that they live belowground. But it could be very productive… they have magic, and it can help. They have land for all the humans, a thing that will relief the over-population of the world, and they have advanced technology that will improve the quality of life.

_Hmm, _he thought. _War it is._

After hours of intense and tiring phone calls to the entire world leaders about a meeting in the white house where he will present his plan, the phone rang.

_**Haven City, 2 hours earlier**_

Trouble Kelp was sitting on Grub's bed in his room. Not only that humans discovered fairies, not only that the thing is irreversible, they had to take Grub as well.

He loved his brother, although he was rather annoying most of the time. But he was lovely. He was funny. He was his brother, for gods' sake. And he's gone.

Just before their mom died, she told him to look after Grub. And he didn't do it. How could Trouble allow him to perform the Ritual without any surveillance equipment? Why did Grub had to be so unsafe?

And what about Grub's recycling ceremony?

Trouble couldn't live with the thought those disgusting Mud Men will have his body thrown out to the trash or whatever they're going to do with it. He will find out what happened to the body. If he'll find it, Grub will have an appropriate ritual. If not… someone's going to pay.

He called Foaly.

"Yes?" said the centaur.

"Listen. I need you to get me Malone's phone number."

"The president?"

"Yes."

"No problemo," Foaly said and there was a short noise of keys being pushed. "Why do you need it?"

"A small favor for Grub."

"I see. But did you checked if Julius is ok with it?"

"No. It's not something that has to do with the LEP. I'm not Deputy Kelp right now. I'm Grub's brother."

"Fine. But I won't let you go like this. Come to the HQ and I'll give you everything you need."

"Agreed."

Ten minutes later, Grub was already in the HQ, and called Malone. Foaly could hear every word of the conversation.

"Hello, President Malone's chamber. Who's speaking?"

"This is Trouble Kelp… the brother of the – "

"Yes, Mr. Kelp, I recognize the name. Please hold."

_The White House_

Malone's phone rang. His secretary told him it was Trouble Kelp. He also recognized the name and picked up immediately.

"Malone?"

"Yes?"

"Listen, you pathetic little man… what did you do with my brother?"

"No need for such conversation, Mr. Kelp… you mean Corporal Grub Kelp, just to be exact, right?"

"Yes!"

"Oh. His body is in processes of preservation right now… we intend to show it in the US museum."

"What!" screamed Trouble, "You can't be serious! This is my brother you're talking about!"

"I know…" Malone said. Trouble could almost hear his smirk on the phone.

Trouble silenced the phone. "I have to go there," he said to Foaly.

"Good Luck," said the centaur.

Trouble turned the sound back on. "I'm coming to the White House."

"I'll be expecting you," said Malone and Trouble could hear him smiling through the phone.

"Fine, but don't you try to attack me like you did with my brother. I'm coming armed." He said and hung up. Hundreds of miles from there, one president sat in his office, smiling.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclamer again:**

**I don't own the characters, accept for Malone and all his buddies. However they're not based on real people.**

Trouble took his helmet, his Neutrino and his iris cam. He knew Foaly will be watching and took off.

One hour later he knocked on Malone's window. Malone turned around, surprised, and let him in.

"I thought you'll walk through the door."

"Windows are much more convenient."

"How are you doing?"

"Malone," he sighed, "My brother is dead and me species is discovered. I'm clearly not on cloud seven. But it's not the time for a small talk, especially not with someone like you. I'm here for one reason, and that is- my brother."

"Don't you think the people have the right to look at the historical discovery?"

"What historical discovery?"

"Corporal – "

"No!"

"Well… I don't think there's a law that can make me give up on the body… and the government can get a lot of money from the museum's incomes with that body. You know how much we need the money."

"Don't make me get violent."

"So that's how you solve things down there, huh?"

"Foaly…" Trouble said quietly.

Foaly's voice was loud and clear in his earpiece, "Don't shoot… _mesmerize_."

"What are you saying there?" asked Malone with interest.

Trouble took off his helmet. He grabbed Malone by his tie and Malone started calling for the security. "Shut up!" Trouble commanded him with the hypnotic voice of the _mesmerizer. _Malone was quiet, instantly.

"Why do you want to preserve my brother's body?"

"Money," he said with a hollow voice.

"Well… you will give out the order to bring the body to the White House, now. Understood?"

"Mmm…" said Malone and reached out for the phone. He dialed and then said with multiple grammar mistakes, "This Malone… Bring fairy to White House fast…"

And hung up.

"Good. Now we wait." Said Trouble and let go of Malone's tie.

Malone's secretary came in, and Trouble didn't have the time to shield. She looked stunned.

"Everything's fine, right, Daniel?" said Trouble and looked into the president's eyes.

"Fine..." He said, very unconvincingly.

"Okay, Mr. President."

"Oh, and next time knock before you enter!" Trouble yelled after her.

After a while, the head of the US museum came with a big bag that looked quite heavy. He didn't see Trouble, of course, because he shielded himself before Professor Simpson walked into the room. The _mesmerizer's _effect had worn off, and Malone said, "What are you bringing me, Simpson?"

"Kelp's body, of course, as you asked."

"Oh," he said, "Well, you can take it back. I have no idea why I wanted it in the first place."

"You did sound very weird on the phone." Said Simpson.

Trouble didn't know what to do. He didn't want to show himself to another person, or soon everyone will be here before he will get Grub.

"What should I do?" he whispered to Foaly as quietly as he could.

"Stun him," said Foaly. Trouble did as he asked. "Take the body, and convince Malone that Simpson passed out for natural reasons." Trouble followed.

He took Grub out of the bag. He was very shiny, and very dead.

Trouble felt like he's going to cry but held himself. He turned slowly to Malone and asked, "How did this happen?"

As Malone told the story, Trouble couldn't help himself for smiling. He was proud of his baby brother for being such a hero. He didn't tell a thing, and almost survived it.

"Well, Malone," said Trouble, "I'm sure I'll meet you again sometime, unfortunately. I bet you'll tell the press all about it, right?"

"Yes," said Malone, "the public has the right to know."

"Well…" he lowered his voice and talked in Gnomish, just to spite Malone- "Foaly, what do you say? Can this thing get nicely to the world?"

"Well," said Foaly, "I'm not sure. It can get MALONE good. He can easily arrange it like he felt sorry for you so he gave you the body. I say we should keep it a secret."

"As you say," said Trouble and looked at Malone again. "Don't say a word about this." He said with the _mesmerizer. _He put his helmet back on, took Grub's body and flew away.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi, sorry for not updating. You see, I had to move out for two weeks because of the REAL war. Now a little disclaimer:**

**I do not own Artemis, Trouble, Root, Holly and all the other characters in the book. The characters that I made up are not based on real people.**

The fairy media that was more popular than ever, celebrated about Grub's story. The entire story- how Grub was captured and his almost brilliant trick, there were dozens of speculations about why Grub didn't make it, the film in Trouble's iris-cam was broadcasted almost five times a day.

Root, however, was not satisfied.

"How could you do it without my approval, Kelp?" he said, his face purple.

"I had to do it for Grub!"

"You risked everything! There could have been a whole army waiting there for you!"

"It couldn't, I warned him about it."

"So what? We know he's a sleazy man even before he pinged us, he could have done anything!"

"But he wanted to put my brother in a damn museum! To get the entire world coming to look and him and have little Mud Kids pointing at him and make stupid Mud-Jokes, and then they would go to the gift shop and buy mugs and T-shirts that have Grub's picture on it! I would sacrifice my life to prevent it!"

"I know, and that's the problem."

"But nothing happened."

"It doesn't matter."

"Well, I didn't come as an LEP soldier. I just came as Trouble."

"I don't care. You're ALWAYS an LEP soldier."

"But… what do you want me to do? I'm not sorry for what I did, I'm glad I did it. What are you going to do? Fire me?"

"I wish I could… It's your lucky day, Trouble- I'm not going to do anything. Just don't do it again."

"It's okay," said Trouble under his mouth, "I don't have any more brothers to lose."

Grub's recycling ceremony was incredibly hard for Trouble. It looked like the entire fairy community had came to give Grub his last respect. When Trouble opened his mouth to give him a eulogy, all the fairies clapped their hands. It was completely unbelievable.

"Well," said Trouble, "I'm not such of a speecher. But this is my brother we're talking about… Well… Grub was always a nice person, a brilliant person, one you couldn't hate. Maybe sometimes he was a little cowered and he wasn't the best Corporal in the world, but we can't all be perfect.

"He was the best brother I ever had, even if he was my only one. But I would never dream about having someone else instead…

"I remember once… when I was only forty years old; he told me he was proud of being my brother. But now I'm the one who's proud. You can't imagine how proud I am.

My brother died trying to protect all of us. He almost made it. And I think that if it would have been someone else instead, our situation would be a lot worse. I think we can all be proud of him. At least I know I'll always remember him, no matter what, and if it was up to me I'd sacrifice my life for him. Too bad I couldn't."

Trouble finished and stepped off the podium. All the fairies clapped even harder than they did before he started.

Trouble couldn't help himself from crying this time.

"It's okay," said Holly and put her hand on his shoulder.


	9. Chapter 9

**I do not own the characters of the Artemis Fowl fandom. The characters I do own are not based on real people.**

Root decided, along with Holly, Foaly and even Artemis, that it would be good to publish the videos from Grub's recycling ritual. Trouble was the one who objected, but he was outnumbered. Artemis provided the English subtitles from the Gnomish speech, and it was sent to worldwide TV stations. Of course they aired it several times.

Apparently it was a smart move- all surveys showed that the fairies' popularity is increasing, but Malone was eager to continue with his plan, even though most of the countries officially told him they're not going to attack the fairies.

There were even panels about that: some of the people said it was only a trick, and some of them sided with the fairies. There were even people who decided that when they will die, their bodies will wear a T-shirt that says _Don't worry about me, I'm with Grub._

Artemis was supposed to answer questions for reporters from all over the world. Everyone wanted to know more about the People. Artemis wasn't excited at all. Root was telling him exactly what to say over the earpiece and nothing the journalists could ask him won't tackle him. Though he wished Butler would be there to protect him, Juliet was there (she became a stunt double since she got tired of wrestling), and so was Holly.

"Master Fowl! How did you feel during Corporal Kelp's funeral?"

"I never knew Corporal Kelp- however; I really do feel sorry for his loss for the LEP."

"Can you once and for all explain the initials LEP?"

"Fairy police and army. It sounds better in Gnommish. It's Lower Elements Police."

"Do you speak Gnommish?"

"Fluently."

"What are the fairy folk's purposes?"

"Just live in peace with us."

"Master Fowl, did the fairies possess your body?"

"No," said Artemis and raised an eyebrow.

"I heard you have a girlfriend! Is it true?"

Seamus, who watched this in Ireland, smiled. "It does not about me right now, if you have anything meaningful to ask, just ask it. I'm not in a talk show right now," said Artemis impatiently.

"How do you describe fairy technology?"

"Brilliant," said Artemis, and Root shouted at him through his earpiece that it's not what he should have say.

"Why did you accept this job?"

"I get paid very well," he said.

"Why did they even hire you?"

"None of your business, I believe," he smiled.

"Artemis, if you won't say the right things I'm firing you!" shouted Root, and Artemis assumed his face are very red at the moment.

"What do the fairies think about Daniel Malone?"

Artemis repeated Root's answer this time: "They do not appreciate his way of action but they hope to get along with him."

"How do you call Fairyland?"

Artemis couldn't hold it anymore and started laughing. Root scowled at him and Artemis pulled himself together and said, "Haven… Haven and Atlantis."

After a long series of annoying and stupid questions, Artemis finished his job and stepped out of the podium.

"That was long," he told Juliet.

"You did well," she said.

"I bet Root doesn't think so."

Root's voice shouted in his ear, "Of course I'm not! You almost ruined – "

Artemis pulled the earpiece out of his ear.

"Come on, Juliet, let's get back to Ireland. I'm exhausted."

They were heading to a rented car that Juliet will drive to the airport, but Juliet stopped him.

"What?" he said.

Robin Richards was leaning on the wall and looking at Juliet and Artemis. Artemis didn't know who he was, of course, but he looked a bit suspicious.

"Who are you and what do you want?" Juliet said and stepped in front of Artemis.

"Which one of you is Artemis Fowl?"

He and Juliet exchanged looks. He was already famous worldwide by now.

"Oh, just kidding," said Richards, "I know it's the fellow behind you, ha ha." He laughed and introduces himself. "Malone wants you to deliver the leader of Fairyland a request."

"And what would that be?" Artemis said and felt sharp pain in his eye. The iris camera he was wearing focused on Richards.

"That he wants to talk to him about some important business. About peace and war and all that stuff." He lit a cigarette. "What's his name, anyway?"

"Well. That's important business. I can't tell it to you," said Artemis, and he left the room along with Holly and Juliet.


	10. Chapter 10

"He wants to talk to you! About important stuff?!" yelled Trouble, who was close to a nervous breakdown.

"Yes, and it's not really surprising. I have to talk to him! Being the leader of the free world and all, we have to get things straightened out."

"What if it's a set-up?" Trouble asked suspiciously.

"I'll be armed, of course."

"It's just like the time _I _went to talk to him. Do you remember how dangerous you thought that is?"

"It's different, Trouble. I _have _to do it."

There was a minute of silence. Suddenly Trouble got up from his seat and said, "I want to do it."

"You can't do it!" said Root, "It's too important. I know you hate him, but it's not the time. You're too extreme. I'm afraid you'll mess it all up. You heard what he said. He wants the leader. Not a right-wing Deputy!"

"Well." Said Trouble angrily, "Fine. You're the commander, right? So do whatever you want. But I want to be there to back you up. It's the least you can do for me!"

"Alright," said Root, "But you'll be shielded all the time. I don't want to hear you talk, even a word. You got it?"

"Yes," said Trouble, "When are we going?"

Amy Brown was not an important person. She was Daniel Malone's secretary, but that was all. That's why it was so shocking for her (and everyone who knew her) to know that she was the first person to talk directly to Commander Root, besides Artemis Fowl. It happened when she manicured her nails while working. The phone rang.

"Hello, you reached President Malone's office. What can I do for you?"

"Hello… this it Julius Root, commander of the LEP."

"What, Sir?"

"Fairyland, alright? I'm the leader of Fairyland, and I want to talk to Malone."

"Are you sure you're not pulling a practical joke, Sir? Because if you are, I'm sure the president will frown upon it."

"Just let me talk to him…" he said impatiently.

"Sir, you are the fifth leader of Fairyland to call today. I'm afraid it's very hard to believe you."

"JUST LET ME TALK TO HIM!" he screamed, and his face turned redder.

"Okay, Sir, no need to shout," she said, and passed the call to Malone.

"Julius Root?" Malone said, "That is one creative mind you've got there. How can I know it's really you?"

"Because I know you sent Richards to tell Artemis you want to talk to me. And about that- what are you, in the third grade, or something?"

"I think I passed that a few years ago. When can you meet me?"

Root covered the phone with his hand. "Trouble, when's the next hotshot?"

Trouble checked the board. "Tomorrow afternoon."

"Well, I'll be there tomorrow afternoon," said Root.

"Excellent. I'll clear my schedule for you. What's a hotshot?"

Root hung up the phone.

Root came in to Malone's office the same way Trouble did- through the window. He didn't want to go through the mess of security and weird looks.

"Commander!" Malone's face lit up, "I was expecting for you to come this way. Come in, come in."

"If Trouble Kelp was here too, would you let him come in, too?"

"Of course I would. Why?"

"Hypothetic question," he said while Trouble came to the window.

"Well, sit down and we'll talk."

"Actually, I have a plan about how we can get along."

"I have one too. How can I attack you?"

"Excuse me?"

"I want your land." Said Malone, and leaned closer to Root.

"We don't have a land," said Root and looked for a cigar, "We live belowground. We hate it there."

"Then you won't mind giving it to humans! We really need it! Look at China. They have so many people there. Don't you want to give them some room? And what about Russia? And Canada?"

"Do they want to attack us?" he asked, "I don't think those countries need war."

"They don't. But the US will get the land, and sell it to the highest bidder."

"You're not so clever, are you? We have a population of about 13,000 people. You can't live there."

"I'm sure you have a lot of space for all the fairies!" he screamed, and Trouble set his Neutrino quietly, ready for action.

"I'm not sure about that."

"Just tell me this- how can I attack you? You think you're so smart with your technology and your magic? Forget it. Because one little army can crush you like little flying roaches."

"You don't really expect me to answer the question. You really shouldn't attack us. What if you'd find out there's a group of people who lives in Antarctica? Would you attack them, as well?"

"Maybe," said Malone seriously, "If you won't tell me how to attack, I will just call my guards. We can play cowboys and Indians. We'll take a bunch of fairies hostage in exchange for lands, and we can start with you. I have five dozens of people waiting behind my door, just waiting for my queue."

Trouble shot the doorknob. It melted, and it was now impossible to open the door. Anyone who wants to get in will have to break it. Root smiled.

"How did that happen?" Malone said with a frightened expression on his face.

"I'm telekinetic."

"But you didn't even look at the door!"

"Just forget it," Root laughed. "Listen. You're the only man in this world who wants to attack us. Don't do it. It's not worth it, and you don't even know how to go belowground."

"Or maybe you're just lying."

"I don't think so," said Root and went out of the window. Trouble followed.


	11. Chapter 1112 The War Begins

Malone waited for Root to exit his office. Then he contacted his troop of air force.

"Now," he said, "Follow them now. Use the camera."

There was an immediate sound of a helicopter takeoff.

Ten minutes later, Malone broke his office door. He found Richards, and they both looked very satisfied with themselves.

"The troops said the fairies are surrounded," said Richards, "and I gotta say it's all thanks to you. How did you know?"

"Well. We already know they have those stupid magical powers. And Root keeps going to all these public places by himself. It would be very stupid of him to do that, because otherwise they would kill him very easily. I also noticed that everywhere he goes, there's this weird fog that surrounds him, so I assumed he's with other fairies, invisible ones, that guard him. Today I could prove this theory, because one of his guards shot the doorknob. Root couldn't have done that himself."

"So you're actually not that stupid like the press says you are."

"That's right, Robin. That's right."

_Ten minutes earlier_

"I told you so," said Trouble as they were flying back to the chute.

"Do you want to act like your 20? Do it. But I was wrong about Malone. That stupid old man. He actually believed me for being telekinetic."

"Whatever… There's a helicopter behind us."

"Do you think it's following us?"

"I'm not sure," said Trouble and looked back, "It's an air force helicopter. It's possible."

"But they can't see us."

"They're the army. I bet they have those cameras like Artemis fowl had. The one that takes over 20 pictures per second. They can see us, if you're asking me. What should we do?"

"Well, we can't try to kill them. Call backup."

"How many?"

"Thirty men will do. Tell them to bring a whole lot of preserved acorns."

"Are you sure, Root? It's only one helicopter."

"Better safe than sorry. And besides, I think there are two more helicopters coming towards us."

Trouble looked back and saw it was true. He called the back up.

"Until they arrive we're completely outnumbered. They can do anything they want with us," he said.

"Let's fly to the chute. I think I know what they want."

"What do they want?"

"War."

Eventually the helicopters got to Root and Trouble.

"Julius Root and his fellow fairy, you're surrounded," said a voice on a megaphone.

"No kidding," said Trouble sarcastically.

"We will wait until you'll be ready to fight. All we want is to know the way to Fairyland."

Root closed his eyes and took deep breathes. Malone is going to get what he wanted.

"Trouble, it's time to land. Start fighting them. War they want, and war they will get. They don't want to kill us, so we're safe. But they aren't. You can unshield yourself if you want." Said Root. He landed and Trouble followed. They helicopters landed shortly after.

"Should we keep the Neutrinos as 'stun'?" asked Trouble.

"No," said Root quietly and prepared to shoot.

"It was nice knowing you, Julius."

"Don't worry, nothing will happen to you."

Meanwhile, the soldiers came out of the helicopter and surrounded them.

"The fairies are surrounded," one soldier said to a communicator.

Trouble was the first to push the trigger. He shot one soldier. That soldier, Captain Hayward, immediately fell to the ground, dead. Trouble was sorry for that even before he shot. He just killed someone's Grub. He's no better than they are. He dropped the gun and sat on the floor with an empty look. Everyone talked around him, but he didn't hear a word.

"Trouble," said Root, "come on, Trouble. Stand up. You can just stun them if you want. It's okay. You're not a murderer. Come on, help me out here. Don't you want to help Haven?"

"I killed someone's Grub…" he started crying. The soldiers didn't know how to take it.

"Well, that's too bad but life goes on, right?"

Root was right, because that very second the backup arrived. Time no longer stood still for Trouble. The war had officially begun.

A tall and thin soldier shot one of the LEP recons. Trouble shot him immediately, and the gun was not on 'stun'. That soldier also killed someone's Grub. It was time for Trouble to go back to reality. He got up on his feet and start shooting. There were screaming all around him.

The fairies won the fight, but not the war. Trouble, Root, and five other recons were the only survivors. The humans had four survivors, but they were seriously injured.

Foaly watched the news, two hours after the fight.

"The fairies attacked," said the narrator, Amelia Hutchins. "I am standing at very same place where the battle occurred. According to one of the survivors, Bobby Shore, the fairies attacked them first. Tell me how it was, Bobby."

"Well," said a short thin man with wounds on his face and hands, "the President sent us to follow them, just to know where they are. All we wanted was to talk… suddenly one of them shot Hayward… that fairy was completely insane. He started crying right after that. I think it was Grub's brother, you know, from his funeral… Suddenly, over thirty fairies showed out of nowhere and started fighting us… they had these really big guns that shoot laser beams – "

"Thank you, Bobby. That really makes you worry, does it? Back to you, Brian."

Foaly turned the TV off. All lies. Now their popularity will surely decrease, and maybe the other countries would think them as a threat and attack too. Things did not look good. He contacted Artemis.

"Hello?" said Artemis.

"Did you hear about the war?"

"Of course I have. Is this really what happened?"

"No. And you need to say it."

"Let me talk to Root."

"I can't. He's in pretty bad shape right now, Trouble too. I think it was really traumatizing for them."

"Who attacked first?"

"Well, technically, Trouble was the first one to shoot. But there were about four or five helicopters following them. They were surrounded and they had no choice."

"Well, it WAS hard to believe that forty people just wanted to talk, like Bobby said. You can just play the film from their cameras."

"I can't to that," said Foaly and started trotting across the room, "Trouble really DID shot first. It won't look good, at all."

"You're right. Maybe we can talk to Root or Trouble about that? They can participate in all these news panels and explain."

"I don't think they'll agree to do that. You have to do everything yourself. It's up to you to save the day."

"But I can't! I have nothing to do with that battle. No one will believe me. Try sending the other recons." There was a minute of silence. "Foaly. Foaly, watch the news now."

Foaly turned on the TV. Brian, the narrator, was just saying, "…Invisibility, hypnoses, and there are probably more…"

"Was he listing powers?"

"Yes," said Artemis, "All of them. He even mentioned flying."

"That's not even a real power!"

Bryan started talking again, "According to Bobby Shore and other survivors, the fairies reach their under houses through chutes that take to Fairyland. Soon, scientists will arrive to research that special way of transportation."

"Impossible," said Foaly, "Impossible. What if they'll be there just in time for a hotshot?"

"They'll reach Haven."

"Artemis. Go there. I want you to wait for those scientists. Explain the situation, make them empathize. If that won't work we'll have to erase their memories completely. They won't remember anything they know. It would be the new Bermuda Triangle."

"Alright. I'll go there immediately. Do I get any body-guards?"

"Just Juliet. We can't risk another battle. Good luck, Artemis."


	12. Chapter 12

**My dear readers,**

**Sorry for the looong time. I hope you'll actually read this chapter cause I think it's the best one of all. This fic is named "War", but for 10 episodes all that has happaned is bla bla bla... finally, some action! So please r&r? For me?**

**P.S- I don't own any character but Malone, and he's not based on Bush or any other president so don't sue me.**

Malone waited for Root to exit his office. Then he contacted his troop of air force.

"Now," he said, "Follow them now. Use the camera."

There was an immediate sound of a helicopter takeoff.

Ten minutes later, Malone broke his office door. He found Richards, and they both looked very satisfied with themselves.

"The troops said the fairies are surrounded," said Richards, "and I gotta say it's all thanks to you. How did you know?"

"Well. We already know they have those stupid magical powers. And Root keeps going to all these public places by himself. It would be very stupid of him to do that, because otherwise they would kill him very easily. I also noticed that everywhere he goes, there's this weird fog that surrounds him, so I assumed he's with other fairies, invisible ones, that guard him. Today I could prove this theory, because one of his guards shot the doorknob. Root couldn't have done that himself."

"So you're actually not that stupid like the press says you are."

"That's right, Robin. That's right."

_Ten minutes earlier_

"I told you so," said Trouble as they were flying back to the chute.

"Do you want to act like your 20? Do it. But I was wrong about Malone. That stupid old man. He actually believed me for being telekinetic."

"Whatever… There's a helicopter behind us."

"Do you think it's following us?"

"I'm not sure," said Trouble and looked back, "It's an air force helicopter. It's possible."

"But they can't see us."

"They're the army. I bet they have those cameras like Artemis fowl had. The one that takes over 20 pictures per second. They can see us, if you're asking me. What should we do?"

"Well, we can't try to kill them. Call backup."

"How many?"

"Thirty men will do. Tell them to bring a whole lot of preserved acorns."

"Are you sure, Root? It's only one helicopter."

"Better safe than sorry. And besides, I think there are two more helicopters coming towards us."

Trouble looked back and saw it was true. He called the back up.

"Until they arrive we're completely outnumbered. They can do anything they want with us," he said.

"Let's fly to the chute. I think I know what they want."

"What do they want?"

"War."

Eventually the helicopters got to Root and Trouble.

"Julius Root and his fellow fairy, you're surrounded," said a voice on a megaphone.

"No kidding," said Trouble sarcastically.

"We will wait until you'll be ready to fight. All we want is to know the way to Fairyland."

Root closed his eyes and took deep breathes. Malone is going to get what he wanted.

"Trouble, it's time to land. Start fighting them. War they want, and war they will get. They don't want to kill us, so we're safe. But they aren't. You can unshield yourself if you want." Said Root. He landed and Trouble followed. They helicopters landed shortly after.

"Should we keep the Neutrinos as 'stun'?" asked Trouble.

"No," said Root quietly and prepared to shoot.

"It was nice knowing you, Julius."

"Don't worry, nothing will happen to you."

Meanwhile, the soldiers came out of the helicopter and surrounded them.

"The fairies are surrounded," one soldier said to a communicator.

Trouble was the first to push the trigger. He shot one soldier. That soldier, Captain Hayward, immediately fell to the ground, dead. Trouble was sorry for that even before he shot. He just killed someone's Grub. He's no better than they are. He dropped the gun and sat on the floor with an empty look. Everyone talked around him, but he didn't hear a word.

"Trouble," said Root, "come on, Trouble. Stand up. You can just stun them if you want. It's okay. You're not a murderer. Come on, help me out here. Don't you want to help Haven?"

"I killed someone's Grub…" he started crying. The soldiers didn't know how to take it.

"Well, that's too bad but life goes on, right?"

Root was right, because that very second the backup arrived. Time no longer stood still for Trouble. The war had officially begun.

A tall and thin soldier shot one of the LEP recons. Trouble shot him immediately, and the gun was not on 'stun'. That soldier also killed someone's Grub. It was time for Trouble to go back to reality. He got up on his feet and start shooting. There were screaming all around him.

The fairies won the fight, but not the war. Trouble, Root, and five other recons were the only survivors. The humans had four survivors, but they were seriously injured.

Foaly watched the news, two hours after the fight.

"The fairies attacked," said the narrator, Amelia Hutchins. "I am standing at very same place where the battle occurred. According to one of the survivors, Bobby Shore, the fairies attacked them first. Tell me how it was, Bobby."

"Well," said a short thin man with wounds on his face and hands, "the President sent us to follow them, just to know where they are. All we wanted was to talk… suddenly one of them shot Hayward… that fairy was completely insane. He started crying right after that. I think it was Grub's brother, you know, from his funeral… Suddenly, over thirty fairies showed out of nowhere and started fighting us… they had these really big guns that shoot laser beams – "

"Thank you, Bobby. That really makes you worry, does it? Back to you, Brian."

Foaly turned the TV off. All lies. Now their popularity will surely decrease, and maybe the other countries would think them as a threat and attack too. Things did not look good. He contacted Artemis.

"Hello?" said Artemis.

"Did you hear about the war?"

"Of course I have. Is this really what happened?"

"No. And you need to say it."

"Let me talk to Root."

"I can't. He's in pretty bad shape right now, Trouble too. I think it was really traumatizing for them."

"Who attacked first?"

"Well, technically, Trouble was the first one to shoot. But there were about four or five helicopters following them. They were surrounded and they had no choice."

"Well, it WAS hard to believe that forty people just wanted to talk, like Bobby said. You can just play the film from their cameras."

"I can't to that," said Foaly and started trotting across the room, "Trouble really DID shot first. It won't look good, at all."

"You're right. Maybe we can talk to Root or Trouble about that? They can participate in all these news panels and explain."

"I don't think they'll agree to do that. You have to do everything yourself. It's up to you to save the day."

"But I can't! I have nothing to do with that battle. No one will believe me. Try sending the other recons." There was a minute of silence. "Foaly. Foaly, watch the news now."

Foaly turned on the TV. Brian, the narrator, was just saying, "…Invisibility, hypnoses, and there are probably more…"

"Was he listing powers?"

"Yes," said Artemis, "All of them. He even mentioned flying."

"That's not even a real power!"

Bryan started talking again, "According to Bobby Shore and other survivors, the fairies reach their under houses through chutes that take to Fairyland. Soon, scientists will arrive to research that special way of transportation."

"Impossible," said Foaly, "Impossible. What if they'll be there just in time for a hotshot?"

"They'll reach Haven."

"Artemis. Go there. I want you to wait for those scientists. Explain the situation, make them empathize. If that won't work we'll have to erase their memories completely. They won't remember anything they know. It would be the new Bermuda Triangle."

"Alright. I'll go there immediately. Do I get any body-guards?"

"Just Juliet. We can't risk another battle. Good luck, Artemis."


End file.
